Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/rhod rhod_20131005-1714a.mp3

Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show live on BBC Radio Wales. This week / in London / Barry Castagnola.

Do you know where we are, eh? / do / big relauch / made a big / in the press / with / stuff / the story / huge / a big, big, big day, ladies and gentlemen, Saturday October / remember / look around / radio show on / Saturday / seven years, I think, I have been doing this show / all across the world / JFK moment / JFK moment. Uh ... / about that in a minute / remember / ladies and gentlemen / the show is re-launched today from my house. We are in my kitchen. Barry and I / kitchen-com-diner / say / too small to be / I think / small / this is a big relaunch. We / no / house party / feeling / going for. / expecting / giant / one / with you dancing naked / expect / last night. ... It's from the house / big relaunch / house party / change the show. We / Rhod's House Party / change the show / musical guests / in comedians / actors / people from soaps / say hello today / in reality / big launch / he might come.

Barry and I / come / K___ last week. You did it / down to / basics / Wales, right? / singing legend. / Yeah. / Right? / 50 other, sort of, uh, people ... members from the public / all sorts of people, amazing group / life / all / most amazing week. Incredible. / It was pretty / I cried. / You did cry / all / quite a bit / I was / top three criers, I would say. / I / quite a few. I mean / more emotional than I thought it would be / very / group / in a group of 50, you'd think that / a couple of really annoying people, just statistically / I'm sorry / but / everyone was, uh, everyone was / It was an amazing trip / time of our lives / charity / most incredible thing / just tried / point is though, I am a broken man. I'm ill / a week, Barry, / Huh, / you and me / you got me to the top. Without / by my side / comedian / Yeah / got me to the top / I would never have / sweat / Lemsip / week later / bed / from my house, in my slippers / totally, totally broken man. I'm ill, I can't walk / sweating, talking to you / first / I did. / that was the kind of positive mental attitude I went in with / there was no way you / even / hot spot / straight right down / looking through some of / videos / cameras / Barry videoed everything, and we / do something with it / with / Alex / GP, who was trained in expeditions and moutain climbing and everything / survival doctor, / If you like / do you, really? / yeah / expert / said / I mean, uh, he's actually an MP in __ in Devon / Really? / but, he's got hobbies / he, uh, there was a point / Do you remember that? / we lost / doctor / with one / sock / one bearfoot, and one boots / he said to you, "Which one is it?" 

shelpas and the porters / the guys, the local guys who / rather / grew up in the mountain / we were all wearing sturdy, purpose-built walking boots, as in the song of Nancy Sinatra / local porters who / running ahead of you / carrying / most / on their heads / wearing / in hundreds-of-pounds-worth of / had the best gear / the best gear / no / in fact, firstly, we have to carry / spent so much money / fund / just to pay for the gear / we spent / how much money we spent on the gear / collect gear / Kilima-njaro / very / at the end of the climb, He / in fact, he was so generous / someone else's boots / was / got / porters / certain amount of kits. You've got / prepare well. You / going up there / food for / group / they run ahead of you / it's embarrassing. But / in our defence, slightly, just / they are aclimatized to the altitude, which is a big problem for us / climb / not necessarily / really good / run ahead of you / at the end / as / many people do / give the porters, the guys who worked so hard / tip / some / gave my boots away, I gave / walking poles away, f__s away / water / things like that. But then there was a girl porter who came over / tugged / arm / boots / I was thinking / altitude sickness / remember / w__ n__ / I said, "What size are you / 8 / 10 / that's no good. I can't / I grabbed / in our party / she came on bearfoot / porter / never seen / anyone / pair of boots / so quickly

Barry / with c___ ease / no, no / some of our group / got to the top / he ... he basically / the whole time / just like a / out of a catalogue / always clean / at the top, looked like / could have been / catalogue / that good / I was a broken man. I cried five times / you took me to the top. You know, I was moving / one milimteter every few minutes / pigeon step / I have been in bed since I got back. All week. Completely ... / get out of bed / nothing / gave every single ounce that I had / you / I'm not fine / I've been sleeping a lot / quite / doing gigs / a gig / Newcastle last night / I was in Newcastle last night / I couldn't have done this / you didn't miss out much.

one of the people / did it fairly comfortably / most incredible experience for all of us, I have to say / come along / for / to get me to the top / you did. But / together / the singer, I met Martin Williams, a rugby player once / you / I don't think / so / met, didn't we, / chatted a bit, bonded a bit, but / one chap, a very very big, huge guy. Quite intimidating / big tatoos / covered / fireman? / turns out he's a fireman, turns out / school with him / remember / no, but / as soon as he said / going / five years younger than me. You know / people / big / sometimes / not really, you know / five years older / Right? / Alistair / lovely boy / really gentle giant / good / week and stuff / closing party / use / what / say in his text? / this is exactly what he says uh .... / come over / fire station, give the boys a mention / know / Alistair, but, when you climb / life-changing experience / sometimes you learn more about people in a few days than ... than some of / may have learned / ten years / with him / in the end / something of soprano. A good singer / big surprise to all of us / mustle / mustle gym thingy / gym person / not like us / a bit of a soprano / wih us / finest soprano / decided to do a duet. As it happens, Barry recorded it on his iphone / I did, yeah, yeah. / one of the biggest guys I've ever seen in my life / very very intimidating / character / lovely boy / quite intimidating / imagine __ __ / bigger, younger, harder-looking / Yeah. / And this / morning / broken / and S__ __, famous, famous soprano

...

He was deadly serious, boys. Deadly serious.

This is Rhod Gilbert, live on BBC Radio Wales. It is a big re-launch / look / ladies / unplanned, spontaneous, in fact / somebody / this is / new, big relaunch / Rhod Gilbert show, live on BBC Radio Wales / re-launching today / feature / tried to turn the show into a kind of ... I've just seen them walking away / just / out to find out / just nobody / got the wrong door / hang on a minute / this / this is the new relaunch, Rhod Gilbert radio show / we've got a guest / don't tell, don't tell / this / relaunch / we have got a guest / yes / surprise / is there? / you mean / show / Yeah, exactly. / possibly be / do you know what? So unprepared are we for this new launch / microphone for you / coffee / come on in. This / great feel / Barry / great feel / Rhod Gilbert / house party / Chris-Evans-feel to it / we are expecting who knows / honestly / looks like a school project. / Tuesday / noticed that there was an ... there was / around the corner / knock on the door. I thought / no / doorstep. / know what that means / anyway, we are live / one / interview / in a minute / Oh, yeah. / in hospital radio show /

The new relaunched, sort of, Rhod's house party feel to the show / we / house / Greg Davis / actor / he's dropped in / that's the new feel of the show. / didn't even know / going / we are not 100%. / lived here / just / nice house / he's just dropped in / nice / just / like / who knows / one / second half / could be, like, uh .... B__ George? / could be / massive __. I'm here / I don't think you / I genuinely ... I genuinely add a toss __ I'm not making this up / my local pub. ... And I sat / really / they do lovely burgers / what about / free muffin? / that / lift / ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna throw / some of our regular features. Right? For the second half of the show / how / it's good, innit? / Yeah / really good / yeah / revenge (keep it light) / Right / on / revenge / only / word play / yeah / called / is that / features / No. / OK. / just / quick look / last night. ... "Revenge" is a great feature / what's it about? People / how / revenge on someone? / try keep it light, though / police / really? / yeah / revenge on someone once / there we go / hang on a minute, ladies and gentlemen / coming up / what was the revenge you took? / someone / collage / really annoyed me, so I __ job application / made / You did what? / teach / annoy me / reapply for a job / what / how do you get / He left it / front room. / you ripped it up? / Yeah. / and why / rather than / back / OK / in front of him / before the internet / stuff / did you rip it up in front of him? / No. / I almost / over / job application once / did you? / end / yeah / feature / almost revenge / think / more creative word play / for it / new feature / how about / new / this is gold / my ex girlfriend, / Yeah? / I asked her to, uh, I wrote a job application. / Yeah / for a job, and, uh ... in a certain fireld, and uh, she typed it out, and sent it off, and / she / name wrong / name of the job / she spelt wrong / I thought we are keeping it light. / for / semi-literate girl / this is a whole new feature. / little / I was applying for a job / in qualitative research. / Right / why / job application / told / type it out / sorry

Greg Davis, standup comedian, got a new ... got a new / this is ... / come to microphone / corner of the room / just staring at me / incredibly expensive space-chair / backwards and forwards. I've just been trying out / expensive space chair / enable / experience / zero gravity / It does. / sounds / told you. / designed by NASA. / The only way that / experience / gravitational / really really fast / that's my understanding / Barry / Rhod / if / zero gravity / chair / incredibly expensive chair / if you / certain point, it's like being in space / salesman's dream / daylight / Or / used to / gets dark tonight / experience / zero gravity, will I? / look up at the stars / intelligent man / on earth / you once told me about / thinking about / they were / I'm quoting here, / more comfortable / having / stand by that / such quality / they correct nature's mistake / what I meant was / those headphones I bought / more / phones on. / that's what I meant, though. I think / so comfortable / more comfortable / not having them on / that chair tonight / yeah / once the sun goes down / stars are out / throw open the window / recline in that chair / go through / certain point / if you don't / immediately / Space O___ / give you a fiver / David B___ / space man / so much you've got to learn / got time / to be honest / come back / that's the beauty of my virtual space experience. / Once you've paid admission, you can / exactly / so much better than space / eat

OK, Barry, shoot with the text message from your mother / my mother / radio / life / !!! / yes / two plus one. Bye / my mom there / That's remarkable. / perfectly clear / listen to / any more / should / should act out / mom / miss out on it / Yeah. / innit? / go on then. / just one more thing / just one more thing before you go / yeah / Is that it? / Well, yeah. I never / good / an emisode of Colombo / be honest / straight away / work up the plot / Oh, yeah. / spirit of improvisation / I just needed / killed / tell / over / improvisation of the Colombo / improvisation up / not / she's not even listening to us any more / deep in Colombo / you can / the other way around / Rhod Gilbert show / tweets / sent in / Dan Harris / you remember ... you remember, earlier, we had / fire fighter, Alistair / played a little song / him / massive, six / tattooed fireman / to me / to Barry / massive / a real giant / Barry / zero gravity / looking up at / in my pocket, Barry" / Anyway, he sang a duet / he / duet / famous soprano / final night / "I'm a bit of a singer / sang a duet / pretty bad / wasn't it? / anyway / boss / says / maybe / useless firefighter, useless singer / Wow, that's harsh / harsh words / bullying in the workplace through Radio Wales / that particualr fire station. / I'm sure he's only joking / I'm sure he's only joking / broken, too / says / Jacky / "broken" refers to me being / absolutely broken / well done, both of you, for K__ / says / we can't quite believe you made it / I can't quite believe / proof / not photoshops / could be anywhere / got to the top of K___ / give me half an hour / signs up / Colombo improvisation / bit / run down / down / on tonight / got / bit / flu / same thing I've got / struggled into work / yeah / that's the end of my anecdote / very briefly / why / impersonation / put / Colombo / whole conversation / improvise / just remembering it / improvise / something that's already happened. / So, I recreate it / ready? / if you / What did he say? / that's it / breakfast / midnight / episode / wait / hasn't finished yet / sorry / do it again / you know that face when he looks down / camera / sort of looks / sarcastic and bemused / yeah / sort / sarcastic / invited / it / that's what this is about / that's what it is about / nominated / I am / nominated / nevertheless / yeah / Who won? / Steve Cougan / OK

Yes, we have just come back from K__ / talk about / isn't it? / mountain / you wouldn't have made it / oh, god, no / your steps / since I __ come back / coming up and down / flat / been / very difficult / find / to be honest / told you before / went / an ex-girlfriend of mine / she was super-fit, just crazy / mountain / almost / definitely gonna perish / basically / we did in / minimum / some people get a good aclimatization period / helicopter / up and down / all sorts of things, all sorts  / making it easier / two / walking, camping / as well, don't you? / Barry fell down / toilet / day one we / about / thousand meters / yeah / normally, ... Andrew from / done / before / normally the view / incredible. You / mountain / for the first two days we couldn't see / Barry / standing in front of it / a lot shorter / could have been anywhere. I mean / pouring rain / mist like ten / people / charity / three times before / drop / just / the point / guy organizing the charity, Andrew, / we were absolutely drenched / second day / my head nearly exploded, terrible headache, altitude sickness started to kick in, and then, / luckily / Barry kept me entertained. / Ah, OK. / I was in the tent / whisper / sinister / quite sinister / Barry ... basically / one of the worst things / no sleep / you are in tents / hygene problems / anti-bacterial handwash all the time, constantly trying to / alchohol / problems / tough / Barry ... / Yeah / first night / we were camping / midnight / Barry comes / everyone / two-man tents / sometimes / about foot / a meter between tents. Barry comes back / Rhod, Rhod, I'm in trouble, I'm in trouble / I was / what what what what? / no / killed one of the porters / fight / fallen out / think / in trouble / killed one of the porters / trouble can you be in? / thousand meters / K___ / loads / think / his leg / my leg / the way he was __ing / something terrible has happened / I thought / Anyway, don't forget / meters / normally / all day in the rain / come on. / OK. I'm in the tent / Barry / in front of the ten / looking through the mosquito net / yeah / just see his eyes / poking out in the darkness / said / what's happened / the toilets / long drop / Kilima-njaro / everyone dreads them / topic of conversation / everyone / you know, basically, you / toilet / kind / mountain / below you, right? / I was in the toilet, right,  / easy / I almost held on to the door in the front, right / right / position / legs were hurting / if I do that, I'm bound to fall backwards, so / hold / my grip / hold / into the toilet. Barry comes back from the toilet. I said "What's happened / door / yes / Barry fell back, fell backwards, into the toilet / years / tens of thousands of hikers before him / Right. / Barry fell back into it / didn't / dropped down into the / below / this is the story / he's telling everyone / down the long drop / told everyone / hello / Barry / porter / he said eariler / came / some music / my side /

can I just point out to the listeners / beside / I just want to say for the record, I've chosen to accept your version of event / that's the truth / walking / three hours / fell down / idea of you / toilet / three hours / it's so good I've just / some / anyway / Barry / back to the tent / Rhod, Rhod, / are you all right? / no, I'm not, I'm not. I fell back on the toilet / I hooted / started laughing so loudly / Barry started going "Shut up, shut up, shut up. People will hear you / laughing so loud / whole / started laughing / some / going / way / Barry went / entire box / he was out / for an hour / getting cleaned up / no water / with wet-wipes / right / at one point / "Don't look at me, don't look at me / Kilima-njaro version of The Elephant Man / Barry / it was horrible / Halloween experience / funniest thing I / ever experienced / chose / my revenge / didn't really work / final camp site we were staying at / got to the top / two days back down / the summit / last camp / up / four kilometers, and we / seven to nine hours, four kilometers / altitude / that's the hard bit. The last hundred yards / took me / about / surprise me about you / Barry / I knew Barry would make it because / yeah ... facially. / I've seen Barry / up a tree before / tree / Barry / marathon / to me, it was amazing / I couldn't quite believe. Anyway, / got / photos / Rhod Gilbert show / twitter feed. You can check out / pictures of us / down / say / looking forward very much to  / some / toilets / seats and everything / very very excited about that / probably set up camps / just / not go / because / real state agent / one / a long drop / it was / all it was / to flush. So, uh, / locked in that one / couldn't open the door, right? / hand wasn't there / tissue paper / door shut / paranoid about / knocking on the door / for some reason / in / I went "Occupied." / naturally / didn't know if she / welcome / "Hi Rhod / welcome back / said Lisa K__ / well / so proud / how did you feel / I was dead. Lisa, / absolutely / cried / Did you cry / did you? / why did you cry / top of K___ / toilet /

If you enjoyed that one, why don't you listen to the whole show? Rhod Gilbert, live on Saturday mornings, BBC Radio Wales, 11 til 1.